During the past couple of weeks I have experience pain and sickness to such a degree that I was hospitalized twice. After returning from our Trip to Houston, Texas, I was experience abdominal pains and felt full all the time. I finally went to the doctor and found out that I had a stomach infection and was put on a regimen of antibiotics to take daily.
While trying to adjust my life, I found an inability to handle the medication, so I was hospitalized the first time on June 28th. After my release I felt I was getting better. Last Wednesday was a good day, but then there was Thursday Morning (July 4th). Oh, the pain! I have never experience so much pain in my life. Eventually i had to go to the Emergency room, the get treated. I stayed in the Hospital till July 7th. We found out there there was a complication to my stomach infection. This was my first adult experience of being in the hospital in my life. One I don't want to repeat anytime soon.
For 2 weeks all I had to eat was water, jello, and pudding. In fact I felt full after just consuming a little dish of jello on Sunday Morning (July 7th). On Sunday night I was finally able to eat a small amount of chicken, and boy did it taste good. I savored ever bit.
I believe that this experience has humbled me and made me more dependent on God for everything. God has planed this for my good and His Glory. I appreciate the wisdom of the doctors and nurses who help me. It is a great time to live when we have the medical knowledge and tools at our disposal.
My Scriptural promise during this time was 1 Corinthians 1:29-31:
29…so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”Dependence on the Lord is a basic need everyone has. We are finite, God is infinite. As Westerners. We like to be strong. We grow up thinking that things depend on us and our abilities. We import all of this into our Christianity; we believe we’re meant to follow Jesus on the basis of our own resources. In short, we settle for an independent life when we could be living a supernatural life.
My experiences over this past week showed me how dependent I am. I had not planned for this huge train of sickness. This experience has helped me realize more personally that I cannot live or minister alone in my own strength. I have always prided (and yes boasted in) myself, that I can continue to perform, work, play, live even when I get sick. Sometimes I have said, “I never get sick.” This last week (I pray) cured me of boasting in my own physical strength. Having never experienced an infection that was so painful that I couldn't perform, really caused me to think about how dependent on God I am for everything and every second of life. Having to go to the hospital emergency room was also made me realize that I am always in need of help. I am a weak man, who serves a powerful God.
This past July 4th, as we celebrated our independence over tyranny, I relearned that to live an Independent life is to live a prideful life. When one lives life based on your own resources, sight, and strength, you declare that you don’t need God. To live a supernatural life is to live a humble, thrilling, and God-honoring life – boasting in the Lord. When one lives life based on God’s resources, sight, and strength, you declare that God is God and you’re banking everything on his ability to come through.
We were never meant to trust in our own five loaves and two fish. We are meant to live as though, at any moment, God can turn five loaves and two fish into something we never dreamed of.
My Independence Day became my Dependence Day, remembering that we as a people are never independent from God and from each other. Don’t settle for an independent life. Live a supernatural life. Read your Bible and see that that’s the only kind of life we’ve been called to live.
The prognosis is good, and I will be having surgery soon. I appreciate everyone's continued prayers for me at this time. Thanks for you impact in my life and your friendship
Learning to Depending on God through Christ,